Cult of Personality--No This Isn't Guitar Hero III

Malignant Narcissism is probably rampant in cult leaders.

There are the cults--physical isolation from society and uniforms.

Then there's subtle cults.

Isolation through intimidation.

Cult Leaders--never stated--the idea that some person could offer you salvation or redemption.

Families--Mom--from one cult to anohter

Dad--drugged out and indiscriminate and mind numbed

Both lacking concience.

Both Malignant narcissists.

Tesra more than Mazak

to such depraved and incessant degrees.

Tesra--incestuous and incessant--demonic --a witch.

The death glare--the curse of rampant psychosis eating a mind away.


mental health professionals"

and police and "friends"
claiming "they care for you so much,"

fuck no!
they don't experience nor see the covert abuse!

I took to carrying a wood bat with me to the shower--so that if the lady--tesra--a.k.a. Teresa--ever opened the curtain on me again--I could bash her brains out.

I told my sister I was going to the police one evening--to press charges against Teresa,

Lots of covert abuse--but mostly--for the assault upon me while i was showering.

So fucking wretched.
Such shame!

I don't want to tell people about that--it puts me in naked helpless wretchedness,

Assuming "oh you're fucked up cause your mom is."

cultural remanants of "schizophregenic" moms

and  next day, walking down to the shower, bat held limply at side--then walking away from the shower.
"oh wh'at's the bat for, sweety!"

fucking playing dumb--ambient abuse--denying that I'd have a reason to need self defense in the shower.


another example of ambient abuse--an interlude.

My sister stole a bottle of gin and drank it--I only found out because the empty bottle was found under her bed.  She swoer it was me.

Or insinuated.

And I remmeber getting picked up from a school dance with her, her friend, and me

and my mom said "I smelled you reeking of that gin, I know you drank it!"

Bullshit!

I had been drinking beer in a park with some hobos and friends and smoking weed--that was my "pregame" for the dance.

And my sister--it is very diabolical.

There's many levels of abuse there.

Lying.
That destroys communication.

And she'll stil l "saccharinely say "Hi!" to me and bemoan me thinking her an awful person,

If I criticize her pathological state--she bemaons how "she just doesn't think she's such an awful person,:"

changing what i say
warping the words
warping the meaning
and taking up a straw man extreme argument that she knocks down.

And ironically iis much a worse person for doing it.

And seems as such too,

To still lie about that, to still deny it.

Is it fear?  Her reputation and credibility would be squandered if she "came clean" now.
She couldn't have that.
She would rather place my character, and sanity in question.

To slander my image.  To humiliate and make me powerless.

What can you do when people are after you?

There is a large story.

"Toxic shame"
A story of villainry.

Yes.

Well--actually --almost ironically

My brother reminded me of how shit used to be

back to the story about "mom" callin the cops (yes00i probably did come out of her vagina--the big question is--am i merely a creation of sperm and egg?  Or do I have a soul that was placed or migrated or ended up or was forced there?  Was I double dog dared?)





Family "friends"

jumpin topics

Cult enforcers.
"chris"  ( I always thought that was a weird name--too similar to "christ")--which in my experience the individuals I've met with such a name are very much mortal--some cool--some total shit brains.

Anyways--a man--who is a cult enforcer--and makaes jokes about being a narcissist and cult leader.

Seemingly benign--but telling.

Just like the creepy kid who offered me a cigarette, and made the joke that it was roofied.

A creepy fucker hiding behind overtly and comically creepy shit.


Ironic and clever.
Ridicule of the position of them being creepy.

Like Andrea and Norman--two abusive clucks "therapists" nope--abusive--they have narratives and want 2d people to exploit and abuse.

"sexc offendor therapists"

shame and embarrasment.

My brother reminded me how shit was.

We used to go to the neighbor's house--BTW in our neighborhood--the kids we hung out with didn't have dads around.

One--a mixed kid--lived with his Grandma--and would sometimes go to california to go to all year round school--or something--but he was in (anonymous location) a lot--lighting cigarettes for his grandma, cussing, introducing me to Eminem and NSYNC and beating up my brother--and on the last occasion I saw him--sucker punching me in the face for telling him not to hit my brother.


How ironic--perhaps.

That I beat my brother up later.

Perhaps identifying with Davy--who never took adults seriously--I so admired that about him--but it was probably more sociopathy than anything else.  His lack of nervousness and fear of adults--those who hit--and employ no reasoning embargos of abuse.

And who had videogames, toys, sugared cereals, a playstation 2, a gameboy (like me) and the permission--rather lack of non permission to watch violent movies.

Plus his grandma smoked--which was bad ass.

I remember him punching my brother in the back.

And me thinking:  "Peter must like that since he's still playing with Davy and not fighting back nor protesting"

It was gruesome and humiliating for me.

Shameful

As if proof presented that I came from a defective stock.

Peter showed a bizzarre and creepy immunity to humiliation.

Later, it became my goal to see Peter blush.--To see him embarrased and acknowledging indecency.

To have a sense of shame and dignity.

To not be so damn head gratingly loud and permissive to abuses.

To the abusive, malignant narcissists--"parents" both of whom had much time done in "therapy"
and
especially Teresa--more clever in their abuses.

The sociopath who was "bullimic" and hospitalized for over a month--because she "wanted to be perfect"
a sob story--to evoke pity and compassion.
"oh helpless her"
She is a sadist.

I view that as sadomasochism--as all else failing and playing utterly pitiful.
For sympathy.
To drop defenses.
To weasel and worm into people's considerations.
To disgrace the people around her--her family.

By no means is her family great--they are fucking evil as shit.  Mormons
the kind that spanked and gave those dirty glares--the cousins too--the glares that communicated:  "Child of Perdition!  Devil Spawn!  Devil's minions!  Lucifer! Satan!"
Contempt and disdain and hatred.

Which i found mind bogglingly ironic!

The disdain and mild contempt.

Disdain pushed to contempt--with such shows of contempt from them.Scorn!  Mind bogglingly ironic!

Like--fake stupid cult bitches!  Don't steal my reasoning and superiority!

Don't steal my dignity and sense of reason!

Heart attacks, brain parasites, aneurysms.

No thank you!

Curses and witches.
Culturally unviable.

There are cultures that still acknowledge--or believe in--witchery.

It is something of increduylty

\But sheesh!

Believe that there are witches anbd reject their curses.

The biggest and vilest curses come under the guise of altruism and benevolence.
Threats of "uunmanageable symptoms" and "innability to use logic"
If drugs weren't taken--drugs that I fear could cause much more brain damage--rather--seee-complexly--they have gotten the idea of "brain damage" taken for granted.

Fuck Slim Shady--that fuck who popularizes crazy--glorifies crazy and abusive moms.

And abusiveness.

l

Fuck momma's boys

Specifically--that faggot Chris that worships his momma's pathological antidepressant and other drugs gobbling ass.
Antipsychotics perhaps.

Who was hospitalized and brain damaged--who took heavey pharmaceuticals for a number of years.

Fuck Tim Leary who writes "schizophrenia" as "mystics stuck on other "planes" and unable to get back to this one"

Glorifying mental illness.

Fuck "mental illness"

Cultural crazy--which is now highly comodified.

"professionals" and drugs.

As the last resort for people who aren't receiving empathy elsewhere.

Or are too ashamed to talk to any one else.


A place to be fucked up.

A place to let loose--is the ideal

Uncles and family members worshipping that shit--similar to priests in church going families.

Perhap more so--becuase it is purported--so fucking bizarrely--so stupidly--as highly personalized and highly knowing--when it is cultural programming


There is even a type of "therapy" called culturaly programming--how sick.

How obviously myopic and malignant.
nasty huh

No not eye cancer.

Bye, peace--disjointed.

To finish the original story--mom called cops--cops showed up wearing rubber gloves and shit--and gave the bullshit talk of "your mom cares very much and is just worried about you,"

Last time cops came to my house--well--no --the last time a cop came to my house it was 4 in the morning and they tapped on the window to my brother's room where I was sleeping--and my bro was with him for getting a D.U.I.--driving his girlfriend's car barefoot--a cultural banishment of bare feet exists--at 4 in the morning--driving some kids home from his girlfriends house--and got pulled over for having the lights off:?

No--but the time before that--my "mother" had picked up a chair and slammed me and pinned me against the wall with it--chair legs pointed at me.  And proceeded to choke me and claw at my face--snarling--you haven't ever seen such evil and malignant and sadistic and satanic --demonic and wild animal eyes as that--eyes that hurt my soul.

Painful--to see such a wounded beast as that,.


The empathy hurt--not her eyes--

I called the cops--and the pigs said "your mother has to have a way to control you--if the police get called to this residence again someone has to go to jail--and it won't be your mom"-was insinuated.

Oh yeah--her reasoning?  I refused to fold laundry with her.--fuck.

Modern day "therapists"--"counselor"
Isn't it odd what the bible says about "counsel" and "counselors,"
Now--before you scoff or jump on me--for really--the Bible isn't often brought up in consideration other than religious chest beating.
The "Holy Bible"
As it is titled
Is an astronomical force on public conciousness.--Along with the institutions claiming ownership of it--different churches.
So is the institution of psychoanalysis--now called psychology and psychiatry--yes there are many esoteric offshoots--but that joyful little institution that has wormed its way into every college and somehow gotten public acceptance--even in the courts and in interpersonal interactions and relations.
An appeal to authority and traditionalism, perhaps.
An image of benevolence to those who haven't experienced--first hand--the psychopathy, arrogance, pathology, and total totalitarianism and abuse rampant in the field--making a joke of the word "science".
The cultural effacement.
The dehumanization.
The basic misleading nature.
Psychology and Psychiatry ignore the cultural aspect of their existence--they claim to be human science beyond culture--transcending culture--even trying to explain the basis of culture.
Big fuckin flub.
For if you look around the world, people have different psychologies.
American, "western" "psychology"
seems based around "pathology"
symptoms. wanted or unwanted.
I read a good book Crazy Like Us:  The Globalization of Mental Health by Ethan Watters--that was a good starting point and validation of my frustration and my point of view.
There's other books that detail the abuses of psychology and psychiatry--and clinical psychology and psychiatry.

Taccentuate the point of such "fields" being bogus--I have an anecdotal tale.

When I was around three or four years old, the lady who's vagina I passed through--on the way from the womb--to the birthing pool set in the living room--informed me of an opportunity to make $40 and receive a lego.
Now--to put it in perspective--coins were very valuable back then.
Dimes were treasure.
Quarters were immensely valuable and surreptitiously inventoried--for fear of that sneaky fingered brat who ventured through the same womb and birthing canal as I--approximately--no exactly--723 rotations of the earth--relative to the sun's existence.
There's a thought--without something external to measure by--there wouldn't be any rotation.
the rotation would be eternal and never be achieved.
or just wouldn't be seen.
but then again the earth wouldn't exist if the sun didn't exist--but they do exist so that is an invalid statement.
I am a firm believer that what does exist must exist. For the laws of the universe--sidenout--"laws" such an overused word--
there's a number of words I have noticed are used grossly missapropriately--usually in some form of chicanery or another--briefly:  "love", "God", "guru", "prophet", "counsel"/ "counselor", "mother", "father", "sister", "Brother", "uncle", "teacher", "psychology", "psychiatry"
hmmm
anyways

well--I'm going to cut it off here--enjoy!  I guess the next step in blogging is probably blogging to other bloggers--or sayin:  "check it out!"
BTW--the real meat and potatoes of this blog--of abuses and injustices
well--the emotional meat and potatoes
mental health meat and potatoes.
cauase spirit--soul--wellbeing and concience are much more
tand preferable--will have htohse people shut out permanently
.
Last note--I hate fuckers who don't understand shit--and get drawn into the charms of the nrcissist--the malignant narcissist--the sociopathic abusers
and treat me was an object of scorn and disdain--a sidenote--yet essential "antagonist"
in the megalomania drama of the "heroes'
exploitation bits

Okay, now that you think I am either a Marxist, Neo-Nazi--or even Nazi sympathizer--that was jokes.
This blog is inspred by house-of-mirrors.blogspot.com
(I think that's the adress) and theirsimilar struglge--so for now the tone is very joke-y
But for now that's the tone that is being written--iit makes me giggle.
So this will be my effort to save sanity--gosh--what a crazy word "sanity"--many crazy people use that word.
Sick people.
Well--and perhaps I'll toss in a few knife pics--I've been forging and am just pinning the handles on my first knife.